This year my brother and I again are enrolled for week-long sessions in the hopes of improving our writing skills, even if we are never likely to earn a living through writing. My class is on dialogue, with the catchy title, "You talkin' to me?" I'm already feeling De Niro's accent coursing through my fingers as I type.
As I told our spectacularly-skilled teacher, Kate Aspengren, (and no, I'm not writing that because I hope she will stumble on my blog) I am hoping she will give me the skills to shed the Hallmark Movie feel from my dialogue. Our Professor, a very successful playwright, who actually has her own brick in Iowa City's Literary Walk, should be the one who can show me how to wipe the cheesy from the words I impose on my characters.
So here's the first dialogue I typed in class. Our Prof supplied the first line as inspiration.
SHE:
“You’re the last person in
the world I expected to see.”
HE:
“It’s been a long time.”
He pushes past her into the
apartment. She trails behind him.
SHE:
“How did you find me?”
HE:
“You know I was a detective.”
SHE:
“I know. I just never thought
you’d come lookin’ for me.”
HE:
“I been lookin’ for you for…
well, since our last job.”
SHE:
“Why?”
HE:
“You know I could never
forget you.”
SHE:
“You spent all of the money,
didn’t you? And now you think I’ll help you with your next big
con. Well forget it. I’ve been straight ever since you made
off with the whole take.”
HE:
“Me? I didn’t run off with
the take. “
Simultaneously, “Willie!”
They move closer.
She:
“You mean you didn’t take the
money?”
HE:
“I should’a known it was
Willie. Oh, baby, come here…”
No comments:
Post a Comment