The Seinfeld “soft-talking woman” is not nearly as annoying in real life as the ridiculously loud-talking man. Who always seems to take the seat at the next table in the restaurant where you were hoping to enjoy a quiet dinner.
Dinner last night was delightful. Or it would have been if we could have heard each other. My husband and I ordered some grilled fresh fish at one of our favorite seafood restaurants. We were skimming the local paper and commenting on a few upcoming events and articles when a door-rattling voice from the next table shattered our reverie.
This loud-talking man at the next table either has become a common character, or he is following us. He appears to be wherever we go. Perhaps he is kin to the mountain man who usually comes late and plants his ten-foot frame directly in front of us at the movies.
But back to loud talkers. Do these men not realize how loudly they are talking? Do they think everyone in the restaurant wishes they had been invited to share a meal with the loudest bore in town? Maybe they are hearing impaired and doing their part to see that rest of us soon are too. Or maybe they think everyone wants to know their views, whether it is on traffic, weather, and sports or politics and the economy.
In all fairness, it is not only men who are obnoxiously loud talkers in restaurants and similar venues. Not too long ago we dined out with another couple before a musical. Knowing that too many loud concerts in our youth and the ravages of age had left a couple of us somewhat hearing impaired, we asked to be seated in a quiet spot so we could talk amongst ourselves and hear each other.
Our so-called quiet location turned out to be opposite a table of ten women, dressed in nearly burlesque exuberance, who were attending a competing musical presentation by Lady Gaga. So much for the “quiet location.”
The differences between the loud-talking man and loud-talking women are three-fold. Loud women are there for some “event” whether it is a party or as revelers for a Lady Gaga concert. Loud-talking women are always that, plural, not just one booming voice drowning out everyone else. And, without exception, loud women have had their tongues thoroughly lubricated with cocktails.
The loud man, on the other hand provides a solo performance, either lecturing or entertaining his group, or even an unfortunate single companion, along with everyone else within a five-mile radius. He may or may not be well lubricated with alcohol. The latter is a good fact to note before deciding whether to ask him to kindly pipe down unless his immediate companion(s) are hearing impaired.
The one question I cannot answer is why there are no loud talkers of either gender who have something really interesting to say? Invariably, when the conversation at the next table sounds worthwhile the speakers are so quiet you have to strain to eavesdrop.
Dorothy’s Idea of the Day: We need to find a way for the level of knowledgeable and interesting discourse of talkers to be directly rather than inversely related to their volume.
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