Elephants Lost in the Tall Weeds

The first debate did little to hide the misogynistic and absurd tendencies of the Republican candidates.

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/07/opinion/paul-krugman-from-trump-on-down-the-republicans-cant-be-serious.html?smid=nytcore-ipad-share&smprod

It’s hard to believe more than a radical fringe would ever vote Republican again when that party’s base so strongly supports a man, calling himself “The Donald”, who sets out to brand himself as one who can belittle and insult more than half the population.

Donald Trump not only could not explain away his many nasty comments about women but he added to his ridiculous and insulting remarks after the debate when he attacked the only female interviewer, Megyn Kelly, suggesting why she had been so aggressive towards him, “You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever.”

Good one, Donald. When you can’t handle the heat or the questions, attack the questioner. And suggest, as insultingly as you can, she doesn’t love you because right now she’s hormonal.

But Trump is hardly the only male Republican candidate who lacks respect for women’s minds and bodies. Republican candidates tried to out-extreme each other, several saying they would countenance no exceptions to allow abortions in cases of rape or incest.

Scott Walker’s position is so extreme he brings to mind aliens in the movie “Independence Day”. He has a one-word response to a woman with a life-threatening pregnancy: Die.

 http://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/08/us/politics/fear-that-debate-could-hurt-gop-in-womens-eyes.html?smid=nytcore-

Given their positions and their raucous support for women-hating candidates, Republicans are right to worry how they can gain any votes from the fairer sex, or anyone with a brain.

http://thinkprogress.org/health/2015/08/07/3689094/extreme-abortion-rhetoric-debate/

 Smart Republicans, forgive the oxymoron, recognize they have a teensy little problem appealing to the female demographic, not to mention younger voters, voters of color, and well, anyone with any sense. But they have come up with a clever solution for at least that female problem. Well-planted propaganda in the form of op-eds, preferably penned by women, to appeal to what they believe is a woman’s vanity and stupid-side of the brain.

A case in point: Bridget Bush’s column, “Tanning Bed Tax Does Much Harm, No Good”, published in the August 5 Courier Journal.

http://www.courier-journal.com/story/opinion/columnists/2015/08/04/bush-tanning-bed-tax-much-harm-good/31113165/

The article is aptly headlined; just one word needs to be omitted: “Tax”.

This propaganda piece was so ridiculous that a recent letter to the editor suggested she thought it was from “The Onion”. In an otherwise greatly decreased, and some might say, diminished newspaper, a full column was wasted on this so-called “Guest Editorial”.

Let’s look at what Ms. Bush says. Without any factual support or citation, she states the tanning bed industry disputes that the use of their tanning beds causes cancer. In actual fact, the use of tanning beds before age 35 increases the risk of melanoma by 75%: tanning beds are now in the highest cancer risk category. In addition to greatly increasing the risk of cancer, a few of the other risks associated with indoor tanning include eye damage, suppression of the immune system and premature aging. See, for example,

http://www.fda.gov/ForConsumers/ConsumerUpdates/ucm186687.htm

Saying the tanning bed industry disputes the facts is a lot like saying the tobacco industry disputes tobacco causes lung cancer. Much like what spews from Donald Trump’s mouth, Ms. Bush’s column is balderdash. And it’s balderdash for a profit motive.

Making a claim that is contrary to the scientific evidence is not the same as actually raising a serious factual question. Why the CJ wastes space on such tripe is beyond my ability to fathom.

The fact that this tax has decreased the use of tanning beds and tanning businesses is the best evidence the tax is a success. Ms. Bush’s simplistic arguments the tanning bed tax has not been useful because it was insufficient to fund Obamacare, when even she admits it was never intended to solely support the whole program, is too ludicrous to merit a response.

Since Ms. Bush acknowledges the tax has resulted in less use of tanning beds she might consider adding as a major benefit of the tax the avoidance of so many disfigurements, injuries and deaths, as well as the health care costs avoided as a result of the decreased use of tanning beds.

But let’s talk about what Ms. Bush says bothers her most about the tanning bed tax, that is, “its disproportionate effect on women.”  Of course, her statement is designed to try to deal with Republicans well-deserved struggle to draw votes from women, particularly young women. Do Republicans seriously believe women are so gullible they will think Republicans care about them because they oppose the tanning bed tax?

Even if we are not elephants, many women have long enough memories to recognize and remember  the many assaults and insults by Republicans, some of them recent, such as during and after the debate.  And then there are the many other Republican attacks on anything benefitting women. Just this week, Jeb Bush said he was not sure we should spend so much on women’s health care. Less than two hours later he was “walking back” that comment.

The Republicans have a long history of outrageous attacks on and insults to women. Though not limited to that arena, many involve women’s reproduction rights. The Republican comments are so jaw-dropping as to be unforgettable.

All of the following are Republicans: Todd Aiken (women seldom get pregnant in a “legitimate rape”.); Richard Murdoch (suggesting God intended a rape if it results in pregnancy); Roger Rivard (“Some girls rape easy.”); Tom Smith (suggesting a pregnancy out-of-wedlock is a lot like a pregnancy resulting from rape.).

See also the Blunt Amendment that would have allowed employers to withhold insurance coverage for contraception and GOP support for so-called “personhood” laws that would criminalize some types of contraception.  

And let’s not forget such clever Republican proposals as making birth control available over the counter, incidentally, the subject of another Bridget Bush op-ed published in the CJ. What better way to accomplish another Republican goal-- undermine Obamacare and its requirement that birth control be covered by insurance plans.

http://op-talk.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/09/29/why-are-republicans-in-favor-of-over-the-counter-birth-control/?smid=nytcore- -

We, that is, anyone with a sentient brain, recognize these Republican “slips of the tongue” and their actual agenda for what they are: signals to the extremist elements now trying to direct the Republican agenda. These “wingnuts”, to borrow a John McCain phrase, one Republican who occasionally engages in “truthiness”, are telling us loudly and clearly they will trash women’s health care and other rights. And they don’t mind insulting us if we go along for the ride.

Ms. Bush is identified as the founder of “Elephants in the Bluegrass” blog. A better name for her and those in her group might be “Elephants Lost in the Tall Weeds”.

Go Set a Watchman Should Give All Writers Hope

Drawn in by the initial hype surrounding the release of Harper Lee’s “Go Set a Watchman”, I signed up for an electronic download of the book as soon as it was available. I recently finished reading "Watchman", described as a “lost treasure”, a book that in many ways should not have been published.

There's an old saying that every writer has at least one bad first novel they have to get on paper before they can write anything good.  With all the charity I can muster I’ve concluded “Watchman” was Harper Lee's bad first novel.

First what’s good about the book: the flashbacks to Scout’s childhood. And that’s all I can say that is good. The "moral" of “Watchman” is intended to be: you need to develop your own conscience. I use the word moral because the book is that simplistic. “Watchman” is a mess. And it's not just the racism of the Atticus character. There are unfinished threads, long, rambling, awkward dialogue, and naive plot devices.

But back to the “shocking racism” of this Atticus Finch, about which much has been made. Some are trying to reconcile him with the Atticus of “Mockingbird”.  I say: don’t waste your time. This is a different character who just happens to have the same name.

Some argue the Atticus of “Watchman” is a complex true-to life character. I don’t doubt the racism of Watchman’s Atticus was true to life for many folks of his era. And perhaps even today. But he is not all that complex. He doesn’t want African Americans to be able to vote and thus control government. He is still true to life for many who are trying to take back their America from a country that elected its first President with African heritage. How many in the Republican Party are still trying to suppress voter’s rights? Watchman’s Atticus, who advocates states’ rights and believes the Supreme Court should not protect the rights of minorities, would be completely at home in many areas of this country today.

Some reviewers of “Watchman” have urged readers to not focus on Atticus’s racism but instead to look at Jean Louise (Scout’s grown-up name) and how she matures as the hero of the book. Wow! The problem with Jean Louise is that her beliefs and her arguments throughout the novel are so naïve it’s hard to accept she is an adult. Many reviewers also fail to note that Jean Louise agrees with many of her father’s underlying racist assumptions.

Atticus characterizes Negros as “backward people”.  Jean Louise agrees. Atticus then asks his daughter if she realizes you “can't have (Negros)…living among people advanced in one kind of civilization and have a social Arcadia?” Jean Louise responds, “Of course I know that.”

When Atticus says “You realize that the vast majority of them (Negros) here in the South are unable to share fully in the responsibilities of citizenship…”  Jean Louise replies, “Yes sir.”

Among the naïve plot devices is the laughable, if weren’t so offensive, manner in which Jean Louise achieves her stellar insight telegraphed at the end of the novel: she needs to find her own conscience. This insight comes as a result of two literal slaps in the face from her aging uncle: a “savage backhand swipe full on the mouth” and a second “coming viciously back.”

Uncle Finch hits Jean Louise hard enough in the face to knock her off balance, see “tiny dancing lights”, and cause “blood spring (to) from her teeth”. Luckily, after her ears stop ringing, her beloved uncle, Dr. Finch, knows how to stop the bleeding.

This slap and the resulting head spin is the turning point of the novel as Jean Louise “comes to her senses” in more ways than one. Later, Jean Louise thanks her uncle, essentially for knocking sense into her when she asks her uncle, “Why did you take so much trouble with me today?”  The “big reveal” in Dr. Finch’s answer I will leave to anyone foolish enough to waste his or her time on this book.

All the criticism aside, I do take hope from my time spent reading this drivel. If the person who wrote “Watchman” could produce “Mockingbird” there may be a great novel in all of us. I’m off to work on my novel. It’s probably a “Watchman” and not a “Mockingbird”. But once I get it on paper maybe my next one will win Pulitzer. 

Eyes and Ears in the sky

I recently learned the government is using fake cell phone towers attached to the undersides of small planes to listen in to our calls. Before you conclude this is one of those far-out conspiracy theories, let me assure you it was on the nightly news. And not the fake news like The Daily Show.

But then the lines between the fake and real news have started to seriously blur. For example, the biggest laugh on TV news, real or fake, I’ve recently had was on NBC—I’ll call it “Real News”.  

Standing in front of the Alps, German Chancellor Angela Merkel, her arms spread wide, was chatting with a sitting President Obama. Cut to Julie Andrews standing in a similar picturesque spot in the Alps, singing “The Hills are alive…” from “The Sound of Music”. You also can catch the clip on CNN. It left me wondering if Chancellor Merkel can sing. And do the Alps actually inspire those types of expansive gestures. But I digress.

Back to governmental faux cell phone towers on small planes which I guess should not come as a big surprise.  We were being lulled into thinking it’s safe to talk on our phones again now that the more extreme parts of the Patriot Act have expired. 

In principle, I take my civil liberties very seriously. In practice, I secretly have been hoping some elements of our federal government are listening to my phone calls.

First, my cell phone doesn’t work very well. If government agents can hear anything on it they have better hearing than I do. But that’s another blog post.  And second, I’m not making any illicit use of my technology, so far as I know. Though I do occasionally get a notice, “illegal operation” when I press the wrong buttons on my Blu-ray player.

If only some agency of the federal government were listening to my calls, and could hear my calls and also stay awake, (a couple of big “if’s”) someone with authority would be able to hear all those robo-calls we get at dinner time: trying to sell me land in the Florida Everglades; telling me they can fix all my computer problems if I’ll just give them my password; and—my favorite--I’ve won a free Caribbean cruise in a contest I didn’t know I’d entered. If I ever win anything I won’t accept it because I won’t believe the person calling to tell me I’ve won.

Just this morning someone called and tried to sell me banquet services. I don’t know if it was a real person or a robo-call. But the voice would not shut up long enough for me to tell them I didn’t want any banquet services. Sorry to be rude if it was a real person. But I hung up.

If the NSA is listening or reading this—I do have one request. Would you please pass along the robo-call problem to the FCC or the Consumer Affairs people--or whomever handles these kinds of complaints? After all, I signed up for the no-call list, so while you are trying to make us all safe from terrorists could you please also make the stupid robo-calls stop?

And if government agents were listening recently, just like me, they were treated to over two hours of musac.  I was on hold with Southwest Airlines trying to correct an error to my reservations that occurred when their site crashed during their big super sale—the one they were not prepared to handle. How about passing that problem along to the FAA or whomever handles airline complaints?

Right about now I know I’d feel a lot safer if all of the government were listening in.

The Best Things in Life Aren’t Necessarily the Latest iThings

I don’t have and don’t want the new Apple watch. No doubt it will be out of date faster than the latest fashion trends. And if you have an Apple watch that’s all any of your friends will want to talk about. I have plenty of other, more interesting topics for conversation. Such as my health—which I’m happy to tell you about shortly.

As all of you with smart phones know, not only is a smart phone a watch, telling the date and time, but it also rings an alarm when I’m running late, which too often is the case. To name just a few chores my cell routinely and exquisitely performs as my personal assistant:

 -Keeping my calendar, my contact list, my “to do” and grocery lists;

-Checking email, sending text messages, and calculating tips.

 -Connecting me to satellites with maps and directions that almost always get me where I want to go; and

-Supplying musical accompaniment when I’m bored.

 

In some ways this technology is perfect for older brains. When I can’t remember the name of an actor in a program I’m watching, or any other fact, I can quickly retrieve the elusive name or fact by typing in what I do remember. Voila--the name pops up as quickly as I wish it would in my head.  

But I promised to talk about my health so let’s take a short detour into that topic. I promise to tie it into the discussion of iThings. A couple of years ago my shoulder got “fixed” just before I got the iPhone 4S. Rotator cuff surgery was a big success, at least for my shoulder. Not so much for my neck, arms and hands, as I’ll explain.

When the tear to my rotator muscle was repaired and a bone spur removed, a pre-existing spinal problem was aggravated, making it difficult to use my hands. My iPhone 4S (which now is considered old, at least by iPhone standards) also was a big success for me, at least for awhile. Siri, who is able to hear and respond, came to the rescue.  And she takes dictation.

Unlike in the commercials by Martin Scorsese  (whose name I might add I just now retrieved from my brain without technological help, though it’s nice to know I have a smart phone to tell me his name if I can’t recall it) for Siri, she isn’t perfect. But then who is? Just keep that in mind if I send you a garbled message.

Nevertheless, I consider having a pocket device with these functions amazing. What else could I want?

Well, on occasion, I wish I could use my iPhone as, well, a phone. It seems the only thing my current iPhone doesn’t do is make or receive phone calls. The volume on calls is so low it’s hard for me to hear a caller. You could say my hearing is going. And maybe it is. But other people can’t hear me either.

I’ve had issues with the case as well as the phone. I originally bought an expensive shatterproof case for my new phone. That promptly caused my cell to overheat. So I replaced the case, and then--you guessed it. I dropped my phone a short distance. The visual display was kaput and could not be repaired.

As a thrifty consumer--you can call me a cheapskate--I opted to replace my broken cell with a refurbished iPhone 4S. Among other minor issues, such as the volume on calls, the case and the refurbished cell now are just slightly misaligned, so the case turns off the ringer.

Just as body parts are connected, so is my technology. Right now my seven-year-old Mac Air and original IPad are able to sync with my “old” iPhone 4S, though none of them can update with the latest software.

So what to do? Should I just throw out thriftiness and spring for a whole new set of iThings? Given my luck with replacements and repairs of any kind, I’m trying to live with the phone, its case and my repaired shoulder for a little while longer—who knows what amazing new abilities the next generation of I-Things or human joints will bring?

 

A Once in a Generation Achievement

Some things you only see once in a generation or once in a lifetime if you are lucky enough to see them at all. When a great achievement happens, as it did for American Pharoah, who took the Belmont virtually wire to wire, we should celebrate. In horse racing, it has been more than a generation—37 years to be precise--since we’d had a Triple Crown winner.

A few years ago, when it seemed we’d never see a Triple Crown Winner again, horse-racing pundits were saying we’d never see another Triple Crown Winner if we didn’t change the length of the race, the timing between races, or other requirements. But they were wrong.

Great Achievers come along in many fields, often separated by generations. We should not change our expectations when we go through a dry spell. But we should wholeheartedly cheer and appreciate just how lucky we are to see a Triple Crown Winner in any field in our lifetime.

- How many Babe Ruth’s and Lou Brock’s have there been in baseball?

- How many years passed between Beethoven and Mozart?

- How many generations produced a Rembrandt or Picasso?

- How many years separated Einstein and Edison?

You can add to the list. American Pharoah not only is a Triple Crown winner, but the second fastest Triple Crown winner at the Belmont since Secretariat. This year we saw a Great Horse, a Great Achiever.

Whenever we see a Great Achiever we should celebrate the achievement and also celebrate that we are alive to see it. We don’t know when, or even if, we will see this achievement again.

 

My Legs-Part 2 (Solutions)

A Flock of Birds On My Legs?

Recently I wrote a short essay about my legs, or more specifically, how humiliating it is to go to the beach with senior-citizen legs. They are lumpy and bumpy, certainly not the objects of beauty they once were, say fifty years ago. But now they are decorated with spider veins, bursitis swellings, bruises and other, ill-defined, non-decorative what-nots.

I’ve gotten a fair number of comments from folks, male and female, who say they can relate to my complaints. Some of my readers have been kind enough to even offer helpful suggestions such as wearing maxi-dresses, going to the beach at night, in the rain when no one else is there, wearing long pants. All worthy ideas.

Other thoughts have occurred to me, such as wearing leggings or tights. Those seem to be a fashion trend designed for my cosmetic issues. Though none of these ideas is the perfect solution in the heat of the summer. And then another idea occurred to me while I was at the gym getting ready for my thrice-weekly water torture, no--exercise, class. Note it also requires the wearing of a swimsuit. 

I have long been one of those old-fashioned people who had thought tattoos not particularly attractive unless sported by sailors or motorcycle gang members. But perhaps I should reconsider. While struggling into my swimsuit, I noticed a young woman in gym apparel with a lovely flock of birds on her back and shoulders.

Maybe artfully-applied tattoos could turn my imperfections into a lovely design of fish swimming on my shins? Or a flock of birds on my thighs. Something to think about while I tried to get my heart rate up in the pool and not otherwise injure myself.

Of course, I should add, and not as an afterthought but as a serious point, I realize how lucky I am my focus on spider veins and unsightly body parts is a vanity issue. Many of my contemporaries are dealing with serious issues; my complaints pale by comparison. Some have life-threatening conditions. Others are in the joint-replacement, bionic categories, using walkers or canes. And still other contemporaries are dead.

So what to do? Well, until I join that last category I’ll continue to try to find the humor in the situation many of us lucky enough to make it to the senior-citizen category find ourselves in.

I’ve even given thought to other body parts. If Nora Ephron could write a whole book, “I Feel Bad About My Neck”, regarding one relatively small body part, what could I do with my whole body?

For example, I have a wealth of funny material: the bursitis in my hip; the arthritis in my spine; not to mention the weird little pain in my left shin, which is the one small body part without any apparent disfigurement.

The good news about all these issues of ailing: I’ve found I no longer have to carry ID to get the senior citizen price at the movies. And the older I get the harder it is to remember what to bring along. But that’s another story.

Going on A Beach Vacation with Senior-Citizen Legs

When you go on a beach vacation you start to worry what you look like in a swimsuit or shorts.

Even when you're in the senior citizen crowd. Or maybe you get to the point you don't care at all. I don’t know if it’s a good or bad sign that I haven’t quite gotten to that point. I am at the stage where I realize there's only so much you can do with exercise and diet to improve those contours.

But you also start to notice the imperfections that have been covered with umpteen layers of corduroy and wool during a Midwest winter, such as small spider veins. Some of those spider veins are so clustered together my legs look as if spiders have been nibbling at them for most of the winter.

I hear there are doctors who in a short, in- office visit can make them disappear. I considered, but never got around to doing anything about the spider veins. And here it is after Memorial Day, the start of swimsuit and shorts season.

But I needn’t have worried. Within a day or two of our arrival at the beach, we went on a whale watch. In order to try to get a better view of the whales I knelt on one of the padded seat cushions. Later that day I noticed large lumps under both of my knees. A bit of online research and I concluded I now have what's colloquially known as “housemaid’s knees” or “preacher’s knees”. I guess it depends on your occupation or denomination.

Then, to add insult to injury, or maybe it was to add injury to insult, I slipped in the shower and smacked my shin against a hard surface. Whether the shin hits the hard surface or the hard surface hits the shin, it's the shin that takes the beating.

My shin is now multiple blue, green, and purple colors. The better to go with the spider veins.

Two conclusions can be drawn from my leg-related experiences:

1) If your legs are banged up enough, People will be looking at them, and not the rest of your swimsuit-clad body; and,

2) There should be a separate Wikipedia entry for “whale-watching knees”.