Light commentary on the funny things in daily life, with occasional bursts of seriosity.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Friday, June 22, 2012
Bugs R Us
Have
you been following the bug news? About how we are made up of about 90% bugs? Or microbes, as the experts call these little bugs. This comes as a nasty surprise to someone like me who has this phobia of bugs. even micro-sized ones. Maybe you too are thinking: Yuck.
But the experts are saying these bugs are a good thing. As
one of those experts, Lita Protor, at the National Institute of Health said:
These microbes aren't just along for the ride. They're there for a reason.
We have a symbiotic relationship with them — we give them a place to live, and
they help keep us alive.
"They belong in and on our bodies; they help support our health; they
help digest our food and provide many kinds of protective mechanisms for human
health," Protor said.
Also in the news is nonstop moaning about the obesity crisis. Some people are linking obesity with consumption of too much sugar and high fructose corn syrup, such as in sodas. We already limit or prevent our kids from drinking sodas at school. As you probably know, there is a move afoot to limit how much of these sugary drinks even adults can slurp down.
So what does sugar have to do with bugs? Well, stay with me here: obesity seems to be related to the kind of bugs colonizing our
bodies. Experts are saying fat and skinny mice (another critter
regardless of size, I don’t much like) have different bugs in their bodies.
Scientists at Harvard
and Washington University
in St. Louis have found fat people, like fat mice, have different bugs than their skinnier friends:
They have
found that the ratios of various bacteria in the guts of obese mice and obese
humans were significantly different from those of lean controls, suggesting
that altering the stomach’s microbial balance with antibiotics might put
patients at risk for gaining weight.
The experts go on to relate all of this to overuse of antibiotics.
Just like farmers use antibiotics to fatten up livestock without increasing how
much they eat. The experts find inverse correlations between certain bugs and obesity, as well
as some serious diseases.
I take that to mean some micro-bugs are good for you and some are not.
I take that to mean some micro-bugs are good for you and some are not.
The bottom line seems rather obvious to me. The bad bugs are
enjoying all this soda. That means there may be a simple solution to the obesity epidemic since the bad
bugs are making us fat.
You remember the old folk remedy for getting rid of slugs,
ants and other undesirable bugs? You pour something sweet like beer or soda into
a small container. The bugs drown, after they drink themselves into an
alcoholic stupor.
So, we should be allowed to buy those large sodas. We just should not drink them. Rather than drink the sodas, we need to set the sodas close to us and let the bad bugs drink themselves into oblivion.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
See No Evil, Hear No Evil
After we hear about civil
wars in Egypt and Syria ,
the next item on the national news is Jerry Sandusky’s trial. How painful it is
to listen to descriptions of the victims’ testimony. And even more so to the
testimony of the adults who turned a blind eye and deaf ear to the abuse.
Yesterday Dottie Sandusky
reportedly testified she saw and heard no evil. And that her husband, the
former Penn State assistant football coach, “just
liked helping boys.” Today the defense rested and Sandusky ’s fate will soon be in the hands of
the jury.
David Brooks’ argued in the
New York Times when this controversy was still fresh, that after the atrocity
of Jerry Sandusky’s alleged crimes comes the vanity of condemnation:
The vanity is the
outraged reaction of a zillion commentators over the past week, whose
indignation is based on the assumption that if they had been in Joe Paterno’s
shoes, or assistant coach Mike McQueary’s shoes, they would have behaved
better. They would have taken action and stopped any sexual assaults. http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/15/opinion/brooks-lets-all-feel-superior.html
I agree if you have not had
to face what you would do when confronted by evil you can’t know for sure what
you will do. I have not seen a child
sexually abused so I can’t say for sure what I would have done.
I can say first hand what it
is like when the evil is shrouded in silence.
I was five years old. One of the first times I was allowed to go
along with my brother up the block to play with the neighbor kids at their
house. The rest of the kids went
inside. For some reason I remained
outside playing.
I hadn’t noticed or didn’t
think anything of the fact the neighbor kids’ grandfather also stayed outside
too. After I got away from him I ran
home. I had no words to describe what he
had done to me. So I showed my
Mother.
I had no expectation of what
my Mother would do. I had no knowledge
that it was a crime. I just knew he had
hurt and frightened me.
My Mother’s first words were
not of outrage or even disbelief.
Instead she began to tell me what she was not going to do. She was not going to tell anyone. And neither would I. For over fifty years.
She said talking about it
would create a big “to do” in the neighborhood.
The neighbors would no longer like us.
My brother would not be allowed to play with his friends up the street.
I don’t know if my Mother
told my Dad or anyone else. But my
Mother did arm me with advice. She told
me to never go back to that neighbor’s house to play if their grandfather was
visiting. She also warned me, as many
mothers of the day warned their daughters, to never be alone with a man other
than my father or brother. If I was ever
alone with a man, she said, everyone would believe whatever happened was my
fault.
My Mother used the two tools
she had available at the time to protect me: silence and fear. My experience with the “silence and fear”
approach occurred in the 1950’s when many things about sex were taboo. But surely times have changed.
Nevertheless, utilizing
pseudo-psychology, people like David Brooks still tries to excuse the silent
approach. According to Brooks, the
experts say people don’t always see what they see. Similarly, Cal Thomas writing in the Courier
Journal also tried to find someone to blame other than the abuser and those who
kept silent. Thomas argued that the
permissive society of the 60’s with its free love is responsible for these
boogeymen who come out into society and feel free to act.
To use one of my Mother’s
terms, Brooks and Thomas are full of hogwash.
We should not buy Brooks’ excuse for people who keep silent. Nor should we accuse our permissive society
as Thomas urges. That is merely a form
of excusing the silence. The boogeymen
are out there in part because of the understandable silence and fear of the
victims and the not so understandable silence of adults who are aware of the
evil.
Surely we have come beyond
the belief of a half century ago that a female who did not protect herself
should be held responsible for whatever happened to her. A belief shared by some Middle
East societies that demand their women leave their houses only in
the company of their father or brother. What is the rationale: men are unable
to control their basest instincts? And so women and children are responsible
for the evil done to them?
But to the question: what
would I have done if I had seen a child being abused, I like to think I would
call 911 immediately. Because if one of
my children had come to tell me what I told my Mother, the police would have
needed to protect the abusing adult from me and my Louisville Slugger.
Monday, June 18, 2012
“Get it While You Can”
I read a couple of studies
about numbers that are going to change my life. First, some mathematician who
analyzed America ’s
obesity epidemic. Then some economist who looked at social security and
interest rates. I really need a
better cure for insomnia than reading scientific and economic articles.
You might ask, what do those
two things have to do with each other? Other than as cures for insomnia. Well,
it came to me in a dream. Is the obesity
epidemic going to solve the social security program problems? All the fat
people are going to die off and not collect benefits? Or is Medicare, the
health care plan for folks over 65 the same demographic as social security
beneficiaries, going to make some big breakthrough in obesity? Maybe make
everyone healthier and more productive?
Actually, I don’t know about any
of those. But both studies have to do with numbers and planning. And like most
of those studies take some reading of fine print. The mathematician who looked
at the remarkable increase in obesity in recent decades was able to correlate weight increases with the removal of government subsidies to farmers
to NOT grow food.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/15/science/a-mathematical-challenge-to-obesity.html?_r=1
So the price of food became cheap. And, as other scientists keep saying in obesity analysis, in much more sophisticated mumbo-jumbo, humans are just like other animals: “See food, eat food.” For a not-so-mumbo-jumbo discussion of the interesting similarities between humans and other animals read: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/10/opinion/sunday/our-animal-natures.html?pagewanted=all
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/15/science/a-mathematical-challenge-to-obesity.html?_r=1
So the price of food became cheap. And, as other scientists keep saying in obesity analysis, in much more sophisticated mumbo-jumbo, humans are just like other animals: “See food, eat food.” For a not-so-mumbo-jumbo discussion of the interesting similarities between humans and other animals read: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/10/opinion/sunday/our-animal-natures.html?pagewanted=all
But hidden in the mathematician’s
study was another interesting little take-away (oops, I seem to be talking about
food again). His study also showed that weight gain does not become permanent
for three years. Which means those annoying three to four pounds I keep gaining
and losing are not really permanently attached to my hips. They are just visiting
until three years has passed.
On to my other revelation. The
big-shot economist, again with very revealing numbers, concluded that a person
who is first eligible for social security can make one of the best investments
in the current economy, by NOT
applying for social security until they are much older.http://finance.yahoo.com/news/beat-government-bonds-using-social-040100847.html
In other words they should just let their
money sit with the government and let it earn around 8% interest. Then when
they apply they will have made so much more money they will be a very old, almost
rich person. Of course, by then, as the one economist with whom I took one
class use to say, and the only thing he said I seem to remember, “In the final
analysis we are all dead.”
So I have to wonder, am I the
only one who read this article about interest rates and social security? Is it
safe to assume no young and hungry politician read this same study? And he is
now going to use it to reduce social security rates? Is it really a plot to get
me and all the other baby boomers to wait to apply for social security in the
hopes that obesity will have killed most of us off before we apply for benefits?
Here are my conclusions.
1) Who knows what government politicians
are plotting? But you can be pretty sure it is not going to do you any good.
2) As for dieting, while it
may seem strange to take advice from a mathematician, his logic makes perfect
sense. So I have decided there is no point in weighing myself until three years
have passed. Any change is transitory before that passage of time.
3) Speaking of transitory and
similarities between species, I am starting to wonder if baby boomers are dinosaurs on the Titanic.
4) While I am considering what advice to take, I think I will go the celebrity route: someone from my generation who also seemed to agree with the economist from my college studies. As Janis sings, “Get it while you can.”
4) While I am considering what advice to take, I think I will go the celebrity route: someone from my generation who also seemed to agree with the economist from my college studies. As Janis sings, “Get it while you can.”
Might as well apply for social
security as soon as I am able and while it is still around. Please pass the
chocolate cake.
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Mad Men and Women in the 21st Century
I am not a great typist. And
I have only myself to blame. In high school, a million years ago, when it was
mandatory for all girls to take typing, and when my Mother said I would never get a job if I could not type, I
had to speak to the principal, a Jesuit priest, and talk him into giving me a
special dispensation. I got out of the requirement by telling the truth. I explained I did not want to bring down my
GPA with a typing class and also that I had no intention of taking any job that
required typing.
Well, that strategy worked
pretty well for me. You will not be surprised that I became a lawyer. I was
always better at talking about things than typing or spelling. You see, I
became a lawyer those million years ago when attorneys still had secretaries.
Go ahead, you youngsters out
there: Laugh. There really was a time when professionals had secretaries. And
the professionals were almost exclusively men and the secretaries all were
women. You’ve watched Mad Men on TV.
You know what I mean.
You might think that solved
the problem. And it did for a few decades. But now that everyone has to do
their own typing, or as they call it, “keyboarding” my spelling and typing
issues should also be resolved. Every computer now comes equipped with
“Spellcheck” or some variation thereof. That solves my typing, er…
“Keyboarding” inadequacies.
Actually, not so much. The
mess Spellcheck makes of my typing is worse than my typing. And that is saying
something.
This is not one of those articles
about the obscene things Spellcheck and particularly iPhone technology can do
for a careless digit. But there are some corrections that I have to wonder--who
came up with the default corrections for mistypes?
What were they thinking? For example, "Fir day". How can spellchecker think I mean to type fir day all the time? And what is fir
day? Surely the odds are greater that I
mistyped Friday than some imaginary holiday in Norway . Or maybe there really is a fir day
somewhere.
And how about “Spellcheck.” If
you type Spellcheck, it corrects to spellchecker? Who ever uses the word spellchecker? Except
of course, the geek who created that word.
Then there is my all time
favorite: “Return gin”. My mistaken typing of “returning” routinely
is corrected to be “return gin.” Now why would I always be writing about
return gin? And who says that, let alone does that. If I had some gin I would
not be returning it. You can bet after a session at my keyboard I can use all
the gin I can get.
Friday, June 15, 2012
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Sprinklers Anyone?
Last
night a real estate-related dispute in which I had only peripheral involvement ended
up with neighbors in another city calling the police alleging threatening
behavior against each other. I believe the incident began with a rug hanging
over a patio railing. Is this how the Hatfields and McCoys started their feud?
I
have not heard anything more about the railing or the rug today. And for that I
am thankful. Nevertheless, I’m a little bit curious what happened. Maybe the
police behaved like Bobby Hill and Andy Renko on the old “Hill Street Blues” TV show
and mediated the situation, everyone going home relatively calmed down and
happier. Or maybe like in the “Maltese Falcon” as Bogey suggested, the police
took the whole lot of them down to the station and they all swore out
complaints against each other.
For
today I have had to deal with a bunch of insurance claims in another real
estate matter. This one concerned a flood that caused a BIG mess, the kind someone might have had an excuse to get excited about. Five condos were significantly damaged. But luckily no one got nasty or called the police.
Insurers are just slow to pay. So what else is new?
Since
I have been dealing with these business matters at home I also have the chance
to interact with my pet. I inherited this dog in the same way I inherited the
real estate problems, from my parents. And both inheritances have been something
of a headache.
The
real estate needs almost constant managing. And the dog has always been anxious
and unfriendly towards most people. At first he followed me everywhere, not so
much for company as to reassure himself that I was still here. Now he has
developed a little Alzheimer's and a lot of arthritis. He no longer comes upstairs to keep tabs on
me and sit by my side as I work on the computer. I don’t know which ailment has
caused his absence.
He’s
taking a bunch of pills, such that it is a challenge to keep track and give them
at right times. In the last week he started on some new meds: an antibiotic for
what are essentially bed sores, and an anti-inflammatory for his arthritis. Whatever
it is though, he is doing much better with the new pills. The joy of life now
seems to be far from over for him. In fact he is happier and friendlier than I
can ever remember him. My old dog also loves to go in the yard and play in the
sprinkler. As the vet says, sometimes when dogs get Alzheimer’s they forget to
be anxious and instead turn into nice dogs.
I
wonder if maybe some of the folks who need to involve police in settling their
interpersonal dramas would be less anxious if they developed a little dementia
and forgot their anxiety. Maybe then they would go out and play in the
sprinkler instead.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Petty Disputes or Beer Toss
I
had the Sunday New York Times and Louisville Courier Journal spread out,
debating between the “Week in Review,” the “Style” section with the hunky
Olympic hopeful, and the comics in the local paper, when my phones began to ring.
As a result, the rest of my Sunday afternoon was consumed with phone calls
about petty disputes between other people in a business matter. Don’t other
people’s disputes always seem sort of petty?
In
the midst of all this telephoning, I had a beer drop out of the fridge and
spray all over the kitchen, inside the fridge, the cabinets, appliances,
countertop, rug, me and everything else. Not since Mt. Vesuvius
erupted has there been such a beautiful spraying machine. Did I mention I am
allergic to the gluten in the beer? So I really had to clean it off of
everything that might come in contact with food. Then I had to take a shower
and wash the rug.
The
one thing I have to say, though, is the beer felt mighty cool. In the moments
before I picked up the beer and tossed it into the sink, spraying what little
of the kitchen had not already been sprayed, I was transported back to
childhood, playing in the sprinkler on a hot day. Maybe we need to all try to
see the world for a few moments like a kid sees it—for the fun it might
produce, rather than for the mess.
My
husband had graciously done the grocery shopping and then agreed to barbecue. So I guess I have to get him another beer
now. There wasn’t much left in that first can.
Thursday, June 7, 2012
The Simple Life
We were without power for about twelve hours: an auto accident took out a nearby utility pole. Reduces you to the simple things in life. Since it happened at night that means finding the flashlights. And in the morning trying to figure out how to make coffee.
The night was cool so we opened a window. This morning we needed no alarm clock as we woke to bird calls. We enjoyed a nice walk in the park and a leisurely read of the newspapers. To our surprise, the dog happily ate plain kibbles without all the extras we usually add in--we were not opening the fridge to keep its contents cold. We went out to breakfast to solve the coffee as well as the "no opening the fridge" dilemma.
Now the power is back on. I have gotten busy and am doing the laundry, emailing friends, and writing on my computer. But it was kind of nice without power for awhile. Inside the house was really quiet, except for the bird songs wafting through the open window.
I easily could get used to a few hours without power. That is, if I could solve one of life's great mysteries: making coffee without electricity. Is there a solar-powered coffee pot? If not, someone should invent one.
The night was cool so we opened a window. This morning we needed no alarm clock as we woke to bird calls. We enjoyed a nice walk in the park and a leisurely read of the newspapers. To our surprise, the dog happily ate plain kibbles without all the extras we usually add in--we were not opening the fridge to keep its contents cold. We went out to breakfast to solve the coffee as well as the "no opening the fridge" dilemma.
Now the power is back on. I have gotten busy and am doing the laundry, emailing friends, and writing on my computer. But it was kind of nice without power for awhile. Inside the house was really quiet, except for the bird songs wafting through the open window.
I easily could get used to a few hours without power. That is, if I could solve one of life's great mysteries: making coffee without electricity. Is there a solar-powered coffee pot? If not, someone should invent one.
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Capulets and Montagues over the Centuries
Roseanne McCoy, born in 1859 into a family where
feuding was to be a way of life, and her infant daughter, were laid into
premature graves less than thirty years later. See the History Channels’
excellent portrayal of this infamous feud.
Lal Bibi, an innocent 18 year
old Afghan woman, chained to a wall and beaten and raped for five days by local
militia, may die a premature death because of a family feud. Read the June 2, 2012 New York Times account. http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/02/world/asia/afghan-rape-case-is-a-challenge-for-the-government.html?_r=1&ref=todayspaper
The dispute between the
Hatfields and McCoys supposedly started over a stolen pig. But there are those who believe the bad
feelings between these Appalachian clans had their roots in the American Civil
War.
Jim Vance, uncle to “Devil
Anse” Hatfield, the leader of that clan, had been released from the Confederate
Army because of a broken leg. Vance, a member of the Hatfield Wildcats, a sort
of local militia, was believed to have killed Asa Harmon McCoy out of anger for
his joining the Union army. Since
neither family had much sympathy for Harmon McCoy, his murder did not
immediately lead to further bloodshed.
Thirteen years later, when a
stolen pig claim was litigated to the dissatisfaction of the McCoys, the McCoys
killed Bill Staton, a relative of both families, whose testimony they believed
had been the cause of their loss of the pig lawsuit. The McCoys who killed
Staton then were acquitted on the grounds of self defense.
Roseanne McCoy and Johnse
Hatfield were cast as two star-crossed lovers in this family feud. After Johnse
was smitten by Roseanne, to the distress of both families, he brought her back
to the Hatfield family home. The McCoys saw to it that Johnse was arrested on
bootlegging charges. Following his rescue by the Hatfields, the result of
Roseanne’s “midnight ride” to warn his family, Johnse proved able to move past
his stars much more nimbly than Romeo. The lout abandoned a now-pregnant
Roseanne. Not long afterwards Johnse married another McCoy, a cousin to
Roseanne. Even though Johnse reputedly was more of a lover than a fighter he
certainly did not bring peace to either family.
Over the next several years, Hatfields and McCoys
continued to kill each other in numbers and manners I won’t recount here. Watch
the well- documented History Channel mini-series or read any of the accounts if
you wish to hear about the full body count.
More than a century later, in another mountainous
region across the world, Lal Bibi, an 18 year old Afghan woman, had not yet had
a chance to be anyone’s lover, star-crossed or otherwise. We don’t know if historical disputes predated
the current one involving Lal Bibi’s distant male cousin, Mohammed Issa. He either had started a relationship with a
local girl and was unsuccessful in an attempted elopement or failed to pay the
bride price for his fiancĂ©. In any event, the unnamed girl’s family believed it
had been wronged.
The Hatfields would have
dredged up some charge of trafficking in poppies and if that failed to punish
the would-be suitor, they would have shot him and/or several of his male relatives. In Lal Bibi’s case, when the wronged family failed
to obtain a satisfactory settlement, they seized Lal Bibi, who had no
involvement in her distant cousin’s alleged wrongdoing, and chained her to a
wall, raping and beating her for five days. In addition to her pain and
suffering during her kidnapping, once released, her rapes rendered Lal Bibi
unmarriageable and shamed; in her society, dead.
Defying tradition, her family
took her to a hospital and then filed a complaint with the governor. Nevertheless, they say they will kill Lal
Bibi if the government does not provide justice for the crimes against her. Lal
Bibi, perhaps more accurately, says, “I am already a dead person.” She
believes, as apparently her family does, she cannot live with the shame.
Tribal customs and perhaps genetics, in the case of
the Hatfields/ McCoys, play a role in the feuds. The violence between the
Hatfields and McCoys may have had its roots more in genetics than in stolen
pigs. (“ Medical
researchers have discovered that many McCoys suffer from the autosomal dominant Von Hippel–Lindau disease, with
approximately 75% of them having tumors on their adrenal
glands…The male members of the
(Hatfield) family may have belonged to Y
chromosome haplogroup E1b1b” ) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hatfield-McCoy_feud#Family_genetics
We don’t know whether a
genetic tendency towards aggression in some males in the Afghanistan feud
plays a role, but we can see compassion and common sense have not eliminated the
age-old desire for revenge. When legal remedies for wrongs are not satisfying, Lal
Bibi’s family and her tormentors just like the Hatfields and McCoys take their
version of justice into their own hands. In Lal Bibi’s case that means her
family will kill their own daughter.
As Shakespeare, writing for the prince, told the Capulets and Montagues: “All are punished.”
Over the centuries how is it that the insanity of such
feuds continues?
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