Headlines scream: “Trump Wall Built: Total Success.” “Muslims
Have Been Rounded Up.” “Dissenting Journalists Disappear.” And one of my
favorites: “All the World Marvels at American Greatness.”
It’s day 200 of Trump’s first term. The talking heads said
look at the first 100 days. But that
went by in a streak of TV, cable news channels, and news articles covering
nothing but Trump doings. Trump appointed Donald Trump, Jr. to the U.S. Supreme
Court vacancy while Congress was in recess. Trump banned overweight women from appearing
in public without full body coverings.
Trump started his own reality and news TV channel. The
ratings are out the roof. Citizens competed to be on the show to win a lifetime
pardon for any crime they might commit. The first winner was Trump’s
son-in-law. Chris Christie, now Secretary of State, also competed but didn’t
win. Just goes to show you the program isn’t rigged.
Trump awarded himself a lifetime exemption from paying any
taxes and also 20% of all revenues derived from federally owned properties.
Crowds wearing caps that say: “Ain’t America Great!” cheered.
And then came the loyalty oaths. Anyone who wanted to work
for or stay employed by the federal government, work as a government
contractor, or receive any government entitlement, such as Social Security,
Veterans benefits, or government pension had to sign.
Soon all large employers and most state and local governments
were following suit and also were requiring their employees and retirees to
sign the oath. The State of West Virginia and the City of Austin had refused to
require a loyalty oath of their employees and contractors. All their federal funds
were shut off. Soon they were back in line. It’s good to know everyone is
loyal, isn’t it?
There were rumors some left-wing Hollywood types had tried to
put up a fuss about signing. They claimed it was a Joe McCarthy-type communist
witch hunt. But most of them signed. There was talk of independents who were
holding out. That in some secret locations there was renegade news, films or
shows with actors or writers who hadn’t signed the loyalty oath.
But very few average citizens were brave enough to try to see
such showings. Rumor had it the renegade news and films showings were just to
ferret out the un-Trumps. Armed crowds of Trump supporters somehow always found
those secret locations and clubbed, shot, or pepper sprayed anyone not wearing
the “Keep America Great Caps” who happened to be in the area.
All the while Team Trump turned a nice profit on the caps
bearing the different “Great America” logos, as they are known. Everyone bought
at least one. It isn’t safe to go out without a Great America cap. You have to
hand it to Trump—he’s a great businessman.
Some professional athletes thought they could avoid signing
the oath. But if they didn’t sign, they didn’t play. And that was the last
anyone heard of them. In fact, most people claimed all professional athletes
signed the pledge and there had never been any disloyal players. I thought I
remembered a football player, some player whose name ended in “nick”, hadn’t
signed.
Don’t you like the way everybody is ok now if you identify
people by their race, religion or nationality? But anyway, my friends tell me
this half Polock, half Black football player exists only in my mind. And that I’ve
got short term memory loss. If everybody says it, it must be so.
U. S and Russia have never been better friends. Putin praised
all Americans for finally electing a great leader. Kim Jong-un even jumped on
the Trump bandwagon. It’s a good thing we have alliances with those good
friends. Because some disloyal countries considered attacking us. Emperor Trump
(oh, did I mention, that’s his new title?) quickly forced them to back down. He’s
so tough!
The news channels all reported our success in immediately
defeating our enemies. But sometimes I wonder why the mandatory draft of all
citizens between the ages of 18 and 35 is needed. Of course, men and women are
segregated. For the protection of the women. Trump really looks out for the
soft womenfolk. But sometimes I wonder where have all the young people gone?
And why?
I’ve tried to stop all this wondering. Trump TV tells me it’s
better to enjoy the show than it is to ask a lot of questions. Questions just
lead to unhealthy thinking. And Trump is the healthiest thinker our country, even
our world, has ever known.
There was a time, back just in 2016, when I thought we weren’t
the greatest nation. I wasn’t sure about Trump as President. And I thought a
woman President wouldn’t be all that strong. Women tend to get whiny or shrill.
I was tired of seeing Hillary in pantsuits and I was so tired of hearing about
her emails.
I knew Trump could do better. I wasn’t sure I understood his
positions on everything or how he would make his promises come true. But I
really thought he would make our country great again. And he believed in what I
believed in. Sometimes I wasn’t sure just what that was but I’ve always been
sure he would fix everything.
And he has. Now I have a job. I work in the coal mine again. I
don’t make much money. But I don’t need much. And I don’t have any time to
spend money anyway since I work a 60-hour week. But Trump works three times as
hard and as long as most people, a 180-hour week. The news reported that. So I
really can’t complain.
Rumor has it the coal we mine is dipped in gold and then
shipped to Florida for the latest Trump mansion. It looks amazing on TV. It’s
an honor to have a part in building such a mansion for our leader.
I sort of wish I had health care again. I also wish I could
afford to pay for public school for my kids. But as Trump says, “We all have to
tighten our belts and make sacrifices if we are going to stay the greatest
nation.”
And Trump says some kids can do better without going to
school. My little Johnny will have the honor of starting work in the mines next
year. Child labor laws have been abolished. Since we stopped immigrants from
coming to this country we really have been able to put all Americans to work.
